


Gaysies Groupchat

by Albertdoesnteatglass



Category: Newsies - All Media Types
Genre: #LetCrutchieSayFuck2k19, #LetJoJoSayFuck2k19, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, F/F, F/M, HAHA GAY, How Do I Tag, Im gonna yeet myself into the void, M/M, Multi, My best work by far, None of them are straight sorry thats the tea, Other, groupchat fic
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-01-25
Updated: 2019-05-30
Packaged: 2019-10-16 04:27:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 33
Words: 5,346
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17542667
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Albertdoesnteatglass/pseuds/Albertdoesnteatglass
Summary: ~GottaGoFast added 16 others~





	1. Usernames

**Author's Note:**

> Buckle up, ladies and gentlethem

Jack ~ Cowbi  
Davey ~ Mom  
Crutchie ~ Captain-Crutch  
Buttons ~ Gay_And_Ok  
Spot ~ BrooklynsHere  
Kathrine ~ ImLesbian  
Sarah ~ IThoughtYouWereAmerican  
Mike ~ Mike  
Ike ~ The_Cooler_Mike  
Specs ~ Glasses  
Race ~ GottaGoFast  
Albert ~ RonaldMcdonald  
Elmer ~ ElmersGlue  
Finch ~ Pigeon  
Romeo ~ WhereForArtThouBitch  
JoJo ~ HoeHoe  
Tommy Boy ~ Spinning Top  
Sniper ~ Walmart  
Bill ~ Dill  
Darcy ~ Barcy  
Mush ~ PANcake  
Blink ~ Rabid_Chihuahua


	2. Texting Homos

~GottaGoFast created Homo Hell~  
~GottaGoFast added 16 others~

GottaGoFast ~ H-hewwo oWo  
BrooklynsHere ~ I want a divorce.  
RonaldMcdonald ~ SUP bitches  
Mom ~ Its 3 AM go to sleep dumbasses.  
Mom ~ What are you guys doing up anyways?  
GottaGoFast ~ Me and Albert and watching Mean Girls  
Mom ~ WITHOUT ME???  
RonaldMcdonald ~ go back to watching Titanic stinky  
Captain-Crutch ~ Don't be mean!  
GottaGoFast ~ Stenkey  
Rabid_Chihuaha ~ SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU ILLITERATE PRINTERS ITS 5 AM  
Dill ~ I TASTE PURPLEE  
Mom ~ @Barcy ????  
Barcy ~ Hey, I'm his boyfriend, not his babysitter.  
Rabid_Chihuahua ~ I STG IM GOING TO SNAP SOMEONES NECK.  
PANcake ~ Even me?  
Rabid_Chihuahua ~ EVERYONE EXCEPT MUSH. GOODNIGHT  
PANcake ~ Ok, gn. Also, @Barcy, why is your boyfriend high on my doorstep??  
Barcy ~ Oh my god

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Usernames:
> 
> Jack ~ Cowbi  
> Davey ~ Mom  
> Crutchie ~ Captain-Crutch  
> Buttons ~ Gay_And_Ok  
> Spot ~ BrooklynsHere  
> Kathrine ~ ImLesbian  
> Sarah ~ IThoughtYouWereAmerican  
> Mike ~ Mike  
> Ike ~ The_Cooler_Mike  
> Specs ~ Glasses  
> Race ~ GottaGoFast  
> Albert ~ RonaldMcdonald  
> Elmer ~ ElmersGlue  
> Finch ~ Pigeon  
> Romeo ~ WhereForArtThouBitch  
> JoJo ~ HoeHoe  
> Tommy Boy ~ Spinning Top  
> Sniper ~ Walmart  
> Bill ~ Dill  
> Darcy ~ Barcy  
> Mush ~ PANcake  
> Blink ~ Rabid_Chihuahua


	3. YEET

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This ones reeeaaaaaal short

Barcy > GottaGoFast

Barcy ~ Hey @GottaGoFast mind explaining why you gave my boyfriend WEED  
GottaGoFast ~ He wouldn't shut up  
Barcy ~ Well, now we know when he's high he doesn't shut up. Ever. He was yelling in his sleep too.  
Barcy ~ AND he ate my goldfish!  
GottaGoFast ~ Chill its just some crackers  
Barcy ~ No, my PET goldfish. Tobias III was too young to die.  
GottaGoFast ~ WTF

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Usernames:
> 
> Jack ~ Cowbi  
> Davey ~ Mom  
> Crutchie ~ Captain-Crutch  
> Buttons ~ Gay_And_Ok  
> Spot ~ BrooklynsHere  
> Kathrine ~ ImLesbian  
> Sarah ~ IThoughtYouWereAmerican  
> Mike ~ Mike  
> Ike ~ The_Cooler_Mike  
> Specs ~ Glasses  
> Race ~ GottaGoFast  
> Albert ~ RonaldMcdonald  
> Elmer ~ ElmersGlue  
> Finch ~ Pigeon  
> Romeo ~ WhereForArtThouBitch  
> JoJo ~ HoeHoe  
> Tommy Boy ~ Spinning Top  
> Sniper ~ Walmart  
> Bill ~ Dill  
> Darcy ~ Barcy  
> Mush ~ PANcake  
> Blink ~ Rabid_Chihuahua


	4. Stay Hydrated

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I would like to personally apologize to Joshua Burrage. (blame my brother for this mess)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm tryna update on thursdays and/or fridays!

HoeHoe: Don't forget to drink plenty of water! It's good for you! Or else I will break into your house and force feed (?) you water!  
SpinningTop: Water daddy uwu  
HoeHoe: w...hat  
GottaGoFast: Quench my thirsts water daddy  
HoeHoe: GOD NO STOP!!!!!  
Walmart: hydrate me daddy  
HoeHoe: @TheSpoonMaster Control your friend!

~ TheSpoonMaster is now offline ~ 

HoeHoe: SOMEONE HELP ME  
HoeHoe: :((  
SpinningTop: Sorry, you've sealed your fate.  
RonaldMcdonald: WATER DADDY  
RonaldMcdonald: HYDRATE ME WATER DADDY OWO  
Mom: Why are you all awake? Go to sleep heathens.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Jack ~ Cowbi  
> Davey ~ Mom  
> Crutchie ~ Captain-Crutch  
> Buttons ~ Gay_And_Ok  
> Spot ~ BrooklynsHere  
> Kathrine ~ ImLesbian  
> Sarah ~ IThoughtYouWereAmerican  
> Mike ~ Mike  
> Ike ~ The_Cooler_Mike  
> Specs ~ Glasses  
> Race ~ GottaGoFast  
> Albert ~ RonaldMcdonald  
> Elmer ~ ElmersGlue  
> Finch ~ Pigeon  
> Romeo ~ WhereForArtThouBitch  
> JoJo ~ HoeHoe  
> Tommy Boy ~ Spinning Top  
> Sniper ~ Walmart  
> Bill ~ Dill  
> Darcy ~ Barcy  
> Mush ~ PANcake  
> Blink ~ Rabid_Chihuahua  
> Smalls ~ TheSpoonMaster


	5. Math sucks. That's it. No joke in this chapter title.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Math fucking SUCKS.

SpinningTop: i hate math. teacher says we wont always have a calculator in our pocket, but i got an Iphone fuck off crusty ass biotch. plus, when am i ever gonna need to divide this much shit?   
Glasses: Calm down , you might need to use it later in life.   
Mom: Yeah!  
SpinningTop: is anyone except the moms online?  
Dill: Me!  
Barcy: Me.   
IThoughtYouWereAmerican: me, bitches. and screw math. who needs school? eat ass, suck a dick, and sell drugs.  
Captain-Crutch: Watch your profanity.  
HoeHoe: All of you need Jesus.   
Mike: Says the one who, ten minutes ago, said "Screw the bible, I'll suck a dick if I want to."  
HoeHoe: What happened to "what's said in the DMS stays in the DMS"??  
Mike: I shot it in an alley.  
Cowbi: math can suck my ass  
Captain-Crutch: Oh my poor, delicate christian ears.  
Mom: You?? Aren't even christian???  
Captain-Crutch: Well, maybe I am now, just because you said that.  
Mom: Whatever, I'm going to bed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Jack ~ Cowbi  
> Davey ~ Mom  
> Crutchie ~ Captain-Crutch  
> Buttons ~ Gay_And_Ok  
> Spot ~ BrooklynsHere  
> Kathrine ~ ImLesbian  
> Sarah ~ IThoughtYouWereAmerican  
> Mike ~ Mike  
> Ike ~ The_Cooler_Mike  
> Specs ~ Glasses  
> Race ~ GottaGoFast  
> Albert ~ RonaldMcdonald  
> Elmer ~ ElmersGlue  
> Finch ~ Pigeon  
> Romeo ~ WhereForArtThouBitch  
> JoJo ~ HoeHoe  
> Tommy Boy ~ Spinning Top  
> Sniper ~ Walmart  
> Bill ~ Dill  
> Darcy ~ Barcy  
> Mush ~ PANcake  
> Blink ~ Rabid_Chihuahua  
> Smalls ~ TheSpoonMaster


	6. Spot's Arms

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I'm gay for Tommy Bracco and I really love Sky Flaherty's hair.

GottaGoFast sent a picture [spoot]  
GottaGoFast: Can we take a moment to appreciate my boyfriend's ARMS  
RonaldMcdonald: yes  
HoeHoe: Yes.  
Spinning Top: yes.  
Pigeon: Yess  
Mom: Yes.  
Captain-Crutch: Yes.  
Gay_and_Ok: Yes uwu  
ElmersGlue: Yeahh  
BrooklynsHere: Why??  
RonaldMcdonald: bc thicc arms  
ImLesbian: We all secretly have photo albums dedicated to your arms.  
Glasses: We also have a fanclub.  
GottaGoFast: Ok none of that's true but can it be  
Mom: No. One fanclub is enough.  
BrooklynsHere: There's.....a fanclub? For what?  
HoeHoe: Albert's hair!  
Captain-Crutch: It was Race's idea.  
GottaGoFast: ITS JUST SO PRETTYYY  
Walmart: this  
Walmart: this is why race started crying  
Dill: He's not wrong...  
WhereForArtThouBitch: i'm late on the spot's arms thing but i'd tap that  
Cowbi: please romeo....for once in your life stfu

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Jack ~ Cowbi  
> Davey ~ Mom  
> Crutchie ~ Captain-Crutch  
> Buttons ~ Gay_And_Ok  
> Spot ~ BrooklynsHere  
> Kathrine ~ ImLesbian  
> Sarah ~ IThoughtYouWereAmerican  
> Mike ~ Mike  
> Ike ~ The_Cooler_Mike  
> Specs ~ Glasses  
> Race ~ GottaGoFast  
> Albert ~ RonaldMcdonald  
> Elmer ~ ElmersGlue  
> Finch ~ Pigeon  
> Romeo ~ WhereForArtThouBitch  
> JoJo ~ HoeHoe  
> Tommy Boy ~ Spinning Top  
> Sniper ~ Walmart  
> Bill ~ Dill  
> Darcy ~ Barcy  
> Mush ~ PANcake  
> Blink ~ Rabid_Chihuahua


	7. Everyones sexualities and shit

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I was bored so BAM.

Jack - Cis male, Bisexual

Crutchie - Cis male, Homoromantic,  
Asexual

Davey - Trans male, Homosexual

Katherine - Cis female, Lesbian

Sarah - Trans female, Lesbian

Race - Trans male, Homoromantic, Bisexual

Spot - Trans male, Homosexual

Elmer - Trans, Pansexual

Albert - Cis male, Homosexual

Specs - Cis male, Panromantic, Asexual

Romeo - Cis male, Bisexual

Smalls - Genderfluid, Aromantic, Asexual

Sniper - Cis male, Homosexual 

JoJo - Cis male, Panromantic, Grey-Ace

Finch - Cis male, Pansexual

Buttons - Bigender, Pansexual

Tommy Boy - Trans male, Pansexual

Mike - Cis male, Biromantic, Grey-Ace

Ike - Cis male, Homosexual

Blink - Trans male, Bisexual

Mush - Cis male, Pansexual

Henry - Bigender (male & gender-apathetic), Panromantic, Abrosexual

Roger - Cis male, Homosexual

Coffee Bean - Trans male, Pansexual

Barney Peanuts - Nonbinary, Biromantic, Asexual

Bill - Cis male, Panromantic, Homosexual

Darcy - Cis male, Homosexual

Hotshot - Trans male, Homosexual

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Also I changed some of the ships bc I can do what I want


	8. Omg a child

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ike's story is based off of real events

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Jack ~ Cowbi  
> Davey ~ Mom  
> Crutchie ~ Captain-Crutch  
> Buttons ~ Gay_And_Ok  
> Spot ~ BrooklynsHere  
> Kathrine ~ ImLesbian  
> Sarah ~ IThoughtYouWereAmerican  
> Mike ~ Mike  
> Ike ~ The_Cooler_Mike  
> Specs ~ Glasses  
> Race ~ GottaGoFast  
> Albert ~ RonaldMcdonald  
> Elmer ~ ElmersGlue  
> Finch ~ Pigeon  
> Romeo ~ WhereForArtThouBitch  
> JoJo ~ HoeHoe  
> Tommy Boy ~ Spinning Top  
> Sniper ~ Walmart  
> Bill ~ Dill  
> Darcy ~ Barcy  
> Mush ~ PANcake  
> Blink ~ Rabid_Chihuahua

The_Cooler_Mike: GUYS IM sOFT  
Cowbi: w...why?  
The_Cooler_Mike: SO my ma made me go to church and while i was pretending to be hetero a small teeny tiny child id never met walked up to me and called me his best friendd  
Captain-Crutch: AWWW!  
ElmersGlue: thats beautiful  
RonaldMcdonald: wow u finally got a friend  
The_Cooler_Mike: well that was r00d  
HoeHoe: Like you're one to talk, Albert.

Cowbi: daaaamn, who are you and what did you do with our sweet little JoJo??  
HoeHoe: Albert cheated in Mario Kart.  
Cowbi: good fucking job Albert you killed the sweet innocent pure side of JoJo!  
RonaldMcdonald: survival of the fittest  
The_Cooler_Mike: oh my god

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Every comment/kudos I get brings me a little further out of the void.
> 
> My tumblr is: Albertdoesnteatglass


	9. What Happened?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The night after a sleepover, they try to remember wtf happened.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Jack ~ Cowbi  
> Davey ~ Mom  
> Crutchie ~ Captain-Crutch  
> Buttons ~ Gay_And_Ok  
> Spot ~ BrooklynsHere  
> Kathrine ~ ImLesbian  
> Sarah ~ IThoughtYouWereAmerican  
> Mike ~ Mike  
> Ike ~ The_Cooler_Mike  
> Specs ~ Glasses  
> Race ~ GottaGoFast  
> Albert ~ RonaldMcdonald  
> Elmer ~ ElmersGlue  
> Finch ~ Pigeon  
> Romeo ~ WhereForArtThouBitch  
> JoJo ~ HoeHoe  
> Tommy Boy ~ Spinning Top  
> Sniper ~ Walmart  
> Bill ~ Dill  
> Darcy ~ Barcy  
> Mush ~ PANcake  
> Blink ~ Rabid_Chihuahua

Glasses: What the hell happened last night??  
Dill: I don't remember anything after Never Have I Ever.  
GottaGoFast: Thats bc ur a fucking lightweight  
Walmart: i think romeo tried to get us to play 7 minutes in heaven  
Mom: Oh my gosh, good thing one of us was sober enough.  
WhereForArtThouBitch: sigh, at least we settled for spin the bottle  
Walmart: i cant believe yall fucking kicked me out of spin the bottle  
Cowbi: that's bc near the end you landed on JoJo and started adding tongue  
Pidgeon: I dont think he was complaining at the time tbh  
Mike: I'm fairly sure I made out with someone  
Mom: I think that was me??   
Walmart: omg mother no  
Mom: No homo.  
Walmart: ok thats better  
Mike: Didn't we try to sacrifice Romeo to Santa  
HoeHoe: You mean Satan?  
Mike: No  
Mike: Santa  
Gay_And_Ok: Oh yeah, Race put him of the table, wrapped him up in string lights and covered his face in a santa hat before pouring candy canes on him. Then he got a ton of papers and drew pentagrams, and then we all tried sacrificing him.  
HoeHoe: Oh my gosh. What the fuck.  
Walmart: who the fuckity fuck taught u that word  
Walmart: oh fuck  
Mom: You are insufferable.  
BrooklynsHere: Press F to pay respects  
Cowbi: F  
GottaGoFast: F  
WhereForArtThouBitch: F  
Glasses: F  
Gay_And_Ok: F  
Mike: F  
ElmersGlue: F  
PANcake: F

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Every comment/kudos brings me a little further out of the void
> 
> My tumblr is: Albertdoesnteatglass


	10. Henry Makes An Entrance

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> *slams fist on the table* here he comes here he comes here he comes here he comes here he comes here he comes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Jack ~ Cowbi  
> Davey ~ Mom  
> Crutchie ~ Captain-Crutch  
> Buttons ~ Gay_And_Ok  
> Spot ~ BrooklynsHere  
> Kathrine ~ ImLesbian  
> Sarah ~ IThoughtYouWereAmerican  
> Mike ~ Mike  
> Ike ~ The_Cooler_Mike  
> Specs ~ Glasses  
> Race ~ GottaGoFast  
> Albert ~ RonaldMcdonald  
> Elmer ~ ElmersGlue  
> Finch ~ Pigeon  
> Romeo ~ WhereForArtThouBitch  
> JoJo ~ HoeHoe  
> Tommy Boy ~ Spinning Top  
> Sniper ~ Walmart  
> Bill ~ Dill  
> Darcy ~ Barcy  
> Mush ~ PANcake  
> Blink ~ Rabid_Chihuahua  
> Smalls ~ TheSpoonMaster  
> Henry - NoHomo

The_Cooler_Mike: hey can I add the cute guy I just made out with behind a 7/11  
Pigeon: Mcscuse me??? IThoughtYouWereAmerican: sure.  
WhereForArtThouBitch: im so proud!

~The_Cooler_Mike added NoHomo to Gaysies~

The_Cooler_Mike: alright, this is henry.  
NoHomo: Hi  
HoeHoe: Hello!  
Mom: Hi.  
Cowbi: howdy  
Mike: Greetings, earthling.  
BrooklynsHere: Hi.  
Gay_And_Ok: Hey :D  
GottaGoFast: brb

GottaGoFast > NoHomo  
GottaGoFast: I just want you to know if you hurt my son is any way shape or form I will get my small boyfriend with large arms to break your spine

GottaGoFast sent an image [imtimidatingspotphoto.png]

NoHomo: Ok  
NoHomo: ????

-Gaysies-

Mom: What were you guys doing behind a 7/11??  
NoHomo: Making out  
Mom: No, I mean what prompted you to be behind the 7/11 in the first place?  
NoHomo: Oh  
NoHomo: I was sitting there and he walked by and I asked if he wanted to play Go Fish  
Walmart: so romantic

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Every comment/kudos brings me a little further out of the void
> 
> My tumblr is: Albertdoesnteatglass


	11. Roger is Mothman

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Here comes everyones favorite cryptids

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Jack ~ Cowbi  
> Davey ~ Mom  
> Crutchie ~ Captain-Crutch  
> Buttons ~ Gay_And_Ok  
> Spot ~ BrooklynsHere  
> Kathrine ~ ImLesbian  
> Sarah ~ IThoughtYouWereAmerican  
> Mike ~ Mike  
> Ike ~ The_Cooler_Mike  
> Specs ~ Glasses  
> Race ~ GottaGoFast  
> Albert ~ RonaldMcdonald  
> Elmer ~ ElmersGlue  
> Finch ~ Pigeon  
> Romeo ~ WhereForArtThouBitch  
> JoJo ~ HoeHoe  
> Tommy Boy ~ Spinning Top  
> Sniper ~ Walmart  
> Bill ~ Dill  
> Darcy ~ Barcy  
> Mush ~ PANcake  
> Blink ~ Rabid_Chihuahua  
> Smalls ~ TheSpoonMaster  
> Henry ~ NoHomo  
> Roger ~ Mothman  
> Coffee Bean ~ Caffinated-Potato  
> Barney Peanuts ~ CircusBoy

ImLesbian: Hey, uh, since we're adding people can I add these three guys I met the other day?  
Cowbi: depends, where‛d you meet them  
ImLesbian: They were trying to catch bigfoot.  
GottaGoFast: Are they straight  
ImLesbian: No?  
Walmart: B R I N G T H E M

~ImLesbian added three users to Gaysies~

CircusBoy: Hello!! My name is Barney!!  
Caffinated-Potato: hi! I'm coffee bean.  
Mom: Hello guys!  
GottaGoFast: Whos the other guy question mark  
CircusBoy: Oh! That's Roger! He doesn't talk much!  
Mike: Did......Did you just say "question mark" instead of "?"  
GottaGoFast: You heard me, bitch  
Mothman: Shhhhh my mom checks my phone  
GottaGoFast: Lmao  
CircusBoy: He's not kidding! She really does!  
Walmart: well fuckity fuck shut the fuck up race  
HoeHoe: Oh....My....Gosh...  
Mom: I need an asprin.  
Cowbi: well, good luck surviving here, kiddos.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Every comment/kudos brings me further out of the void
> 
> My tumblr is: Albertdoesnteatglass


	12. K...Kenny??

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Who's kenny also hotshot appeared from the void

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Jack ~ Cowbi  
> Davey ~ Mom  
> Crutchie ~ Captain-Crutch  
> Buttons ~ Gay_And_Ok  
> Spot ~ BrooklynsHere  
> Kathrine ~ ImLesbian  
> Sarah ~ IThoughtYouWereAmerican  
> Mike ~ Mike  
> Ike ~ The_Cooler_Mike  
> Specs ~ Glasses  
> Race ~ GottaGoFast  
> Albert ~ RonaldMcdonald  
> Elmer ~ ElmersGlue  
> Finch ~ Pigeon  
> Romeo ~ WhereForArtThouBitch  
> JoJo ~ HoeHoe  
> Tommy Boy ~ Spinning Top  
> Sniper ~ Walmart  
> Bill ~ Dill  
> Darcy ~ Barcy  
> Mush ~ PANcake  
> Blink ~ Rabid_Chihuahua  
> Smalls ~ TheSpoonMaster  
> Henry ~ NoHomo  
> Roger ~ Mothman  
> Coffee Bean ~ Caffinated-Potato  
> Barney Peanuts ~ CircusBoy  
> Hotshot ~ Hotpocket  
> Kenny ~ Unknown Number

Unknown Number: Hey you guys are out of milk  
Mom: Um, who is this?  
GottaGoFast: I stg I didn't add anyone besides you guys  
Cowbi: y'all.  
Walmart: _whomstve_  
Unknown Number: Its?? Me??  
BrooklynsHere: uhhh,,whos "me"  
Unknown Number: What the hell??  
RonaldMcdonald: marty im scared  
Mike: Uhh, I'm confused...  
HoeHoe: What's your name?  
Unknown Number: Oh, it's  
Unknown Number: [error]  
HoeHoe: Um, could you send us a picture?  
Unknown Number: Sure.

[error, picture could not send]

Mom: Oh my god....  
BrooklynsHere: what?  
Mom: WE'RE OUT OF FUCKING MILK.  
Pidgeon: WHAT THE HELL SamE  
Cowbi: AHHHJHHASJSJSJ  
RonaldMcdonald: oh my god.  
RonaldMcdonald:we're out of milk too...  
WhereForArtThouBitch: OMG @GLASSES WE'RE OUT OF MILK TOOOOOOOO  
The_Cooler_Mike: sO aM I  
Dill: So are we!  
Walmart: omg same  
IThoughtYouWereAmerican: W E A R E T O O  
Unknown Number: Yeah,,that's why I said you guys were.

~Mike sent a photo [jojono.png]~  
(The picture is JoJo, having fainted and fallen in the floor, clutching an empty gallon of milk)

Cowbi: why do you know this??  
Unknown Number: Bc I drank the milk.  
Pidgeon: What the fuck, that shits expensive man.  
BrooklynsHere: that's all you're concerned about? a dude broke in our houses and drank our milk.  
Hotpocket: only my milk was spared.. Unknown Number: That's bc it was expired. ImLesbian: Oh my God.

~Unknown Number changed their nickname to Kenny ~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Every comment/kudos brings me a littie further out of the void
> 
> My tumblr: Albertdoesnteatglass


	13. Cryptid Crew

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is named after my cinnamon apple bitches on discord

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Jack ~ Cowbi  
> Davey ~ Mom  
> Crutchie ~ Captain-Crutch  
> Buttons ~ Gay_And_Ok  
> Spot ~ BrooklynsHere  
> Kathrine ~ ImLesbian  
> Sarah ~ IThoughtYouWereAmerican  
> Mike ~ Mike  
> Ike ~ The_Cooler_Mike  
> Specs ~ Glasses  
> Race ~ GottaGoFast  
> Albert ~ RonaldMcdonald  
> Elmer ~ ElmersGlue  
> Finch ~ Pigeon  
> Romeo ~ WhereForArtThouBitch  
> JoJo ~ HoeHoe  
> Tommy Boy ~ Spinning Top  
> Sniper ~ Walmart  
> Bill ~ Dill  
> Darcy ~ Barcy  
> Mush ~ PANcake  
> Blink ~ Rabid_Chihuahua  
> Smalls ~ TheSpoonMaster  
> Henry ~ NoHomo  
> Roger ~ Mothman  
> Coffee Bean ~ Caffinated-Potato  
> Barney Peanuts ~ CircusBoy  
> Hotshot ~ Hotpocket  
> Kenny ~ Kenny

RonaldMcdonald: you guys..  
Captain-Crutch: What?  
RonaldMcdonald: i just had a vision..  
Hotpocket: go on.  
RonaldMcdonald: we need a bunch of vans, and after graduation we need to travel the world and catch cryptids!!  
GottaGoFast: You see this is why I love you  
Walmart: im in  
Mom: Except we're all too broke for that.  
RonaldMcdonald: we can get sarah to rob a bank for us  
IThoughtYouWereAmerican: i'm up for it.  
Walmart: ill help  
Mom: Nobody is robbing any banks.  
Walmart: killjoy  
Rabid_Chihuahua: NANANAAAANAANANAA  
Rabid_Chihuahua: how dare you bring out my inner past emo kid  
Walmart: "past" emo kid  
Mom: "Past" emo kid?  
Hotpocket: "PAST" emo kid?!?  
BrooklynsHere: "past" emo kid????  
PANcake: He's legit wearing his mcr shirt righ  
RonaldMcdonald: blink got the poor kid before he could finish rip.  
Cowbi: rip.  
GottaGoFast: RIP

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Every comment/kudos brings me   
> further out of the void
> 
> My Tumblr: Albertdoesnteatglass


	14. Crutchie buys almond milk and blinky is kinky

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dedicated to my dumbass brother

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Jack ~ Cowbi  
> Davey ~ Mom  
> Crutchie ~ Captain-Crutch  
> Buttons ~ Gay_And_Ok  
> Spot ~ BrooklynsHere  
> Kathrine ~ ImLesbian  
> Sarah ~ IThoughtYouWereAmerican  
> Mike ~ Mike  
> Ike ~ The_Cooler_Mike  
> Specs ~ Glasses  
> Race ~ GottaGoFast  
> Albert ~ RonaldMcdonald  
> Elmer ~ ElmersGlue  
> Finch ~ Pigeon  
> Romeo ~ WhereForArtThouBitch  
> JoJo ~ HoeHoe  
> Tommy Boy ~ Spinning Top  
> Sniper ~ Walmart  
> Bill ~ Dill  
> Darcy ~ Barcy  
> Mush ~ PANcake  
> Blink ~ Rabid_Chihuahua  
> Smalls ~ TheSpoonMaster  
> Henry ~ NoHomo  
> Roger ~ Mothman  
> Coffee Bean ~ Caffinated-Potato  
> Barney Peanuts ~ CircusBoy  
> Hotshot ~ Hotpocket  
> Kenny ~ Kenny

Kenny > Captain-Crutch

Kenny: Hey can you stop buying almond milk?  
Captain-Crutch: Why?  
Kenny: Bc I don't like the taste, and when I go on my nightly milk spree it always disappoints.   
Kenny: Only chocolate almond milk is exceptable.  
Captain-crutch: Ok???  
Kenny: Thanks bb.  
Captain-crutch: Yw. 

\- Gaysies gc -

Ronaldmcdonald: who do you guys think is the kinkiest?  
Mom: Why....Are you so strange???  
Walmart: saz mike or blink  
IThoughtYouWereAmerican: how dare you...it's definitely blink.  
Mike: Definitely Blink.  
Rabid_chihuahua: why me??  
PANcake: Bc it's true.  
Rabid_chihuahua: traitor.  
Walmart: maybe he wouldnt be a traitor if youd stop being so fucking kinky  
Rabid_chihuahua: this is cyberbullying.  
Gay_And_Ok: We'll stop.  
Walmart: yeah and bully you irl  
Rabid_chihuahua: I'm fucking going to bed.  
Ronaldmcdonald: alright, gn kinky blinky.  
Rabid_chihuahua: IM GONNA SUE.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Every comment/kudos brings me a little further out of the void


	15. Valentine's Day Edition

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kenny only needs 2 things in life: love, and milk

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Jack ~ Cowbi  
> Davey ~ Mom  
> Crutchie ~ Captain-Crutch  
> Buttons ~ Gay_And_Ok  
> Spot ~ BrooklynsHere  
> Kathrine ~ ImLesbian  
> Sarah ~ IThoughtYouWereAmerican  
> Mike ~ Mike  
> Ike ~ The_Cooler_Mike  
> Specs ~ Glasses  
> Race ~ GottaGoFast  
> Albert ~ RonaldMcdonald  
> Elmer ~ ElmersGlue  
> Finch ~ Pigeon  
> Romeo ~ WhereForArtThouBitch  
> JoJo ~ HoeHoe  
> Tommy Boy ~ Spinning Top  
> Sniper ~ Walmart  
> Bill ~ Dill  
> Darcy ~ Barcy  
> Mush ~ PANcake  
> Blink ~ Rabid_Chihuahua  
> Smalls ~ TheSpoonMaster  
> Henry ~ NoHomo  
> Roger ~ Mothman  
> Coffee Bean ~ Caffinated-Potato  
> Barney Peanuts ~ CircusBoy  
> Hotshot ~ Hotpocket  
> Kenny ~ Kenny

Cowbi: @Mom @Captain-crutch i love you bitch,  
Mom: Oh my God...  
Cowbi: @Mom @Captain-crutch i ain't ever gonna stop lovin you, bitch.  
Walmart: ew gross love  
Mike: ikr  
HoeHoe: :(  
Mike: Never mind love is beautiful and so is JoJo.  
HoeHoe: :D  
Spinning Top: @Walmart pardon me, the love of your life is sitting right here smh.  
Walmart: i do love you  
Spinning Top: :)  
Walmart: and its still gross  
Spinning Top: >:(  
PANcake: Hey Blink I got you a present!  
Rabid_chihuahua: ?

\- PANcake changed Rabid_chihuahua's nickname to Kinkyblinky -

Kinkyblinky: NO  
Kinkyblinky: HOW DARE YOu!!  
Kenny: :'(  
ElmersGlue: Oh no Kenny whats wrong bb  
Kenny: Everyone is out here, being in love, and I'm alone with my milk. D:  
ElmersGlue: Hold on I'll be outside your window in 10ish mins  
Kenny: Thx <3  
ElmersGlue: No problem <3  
ElmersGlue: Anything for a friend :D

 

GottaGoFast > Kenny

GottaGoFast: Oh rip my dude he was fuckin FRIENDZONING ur milky ass  
Kenny: I am going to fill my bathtub with milk, and just _lie down._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Every comment/kudos brings me a little further our of the void
> 
> My Tumblr: Albertdoesnteatglass


	16. Fuck this isnt google

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yeetus Skadeetus

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Jack ~ Cowbi  
> Davey ~ Mom  
> Crutchie ~ Captain-Crutch  
> Buttons ~ Gay_And_Ok  
> Spot ~ BrooklynsHere  
> Kathrine ~ ImLesbian  
> Sarah ~ IThoughtYouWereAmerican  
> Mike ~ Mike  
> Ike ~ The_Cooler_Mike  
> Specs ~ Glasses  
> Race ~ GottaGoFast  
> Albert ~ RonaldMcdonald  
> Elmer ~ ElmersGlue  
> Finch ~ Pigeon  
> Romeo ~ WhereForArtThouBitch  
> JoJo ~ HoeHoe  
> Tommy Boy ~ Spinning Top  
> Sniper ~ Walmart  
> Bill ~ Dill  
> Darcy ~ Barcy  
> Mush ~ PANcake  
> Blink ~ KinkyBlinky  
> Smalls ~ TheSpoonMaster  
> Henry ~ NoHomo  
> Roger ~ Mothman  
> Coffee Bean ~ Caffinated-Potato  
> Barney Peanuts ~ CircusBoy  
> Hotshot ~ Hotpocket  
> Kenny ~ Kenny

Kinkyblinky: How to hide cats  
Kinkyblinky: Fuck this isnt google  
PANcake: Blink....  
PANcake: What did you do...?  
Kinkyblinky: NOTHING  
PANcake: @Walmart what did Blink do.?  
Walmart: i aint no snitch  
CircusBoy: He found two cats by your apartment!  
PANcake: BLINK!  
Mom: Oh my God.  
Kinkyblinky: They was staring through my soul, I had to get them  
PANcake: That's not okay  
Captain-crutch: I'm gonna be an uncle!  
Kinkyblinky: One's name is Frederick III Lord Of Darkness and Homosexuality  
CircusBoy: He named him Freddy.  
Walmart: And the other one Barney named Baby Blink  
The_Cooler_Mike: i love them already.  
PANcake: Can I at least see a picture of my new sons?

\- Kinkyblinky sent a picture [FrederickIIILordOfDarknessandHomosexuality.png] -

The picture is of Sniper sobbing while holding a small brown tabby kitten, and a larger tan cat that's missing an eye.

PANcake: I love them so much already.  
PANcake: I'm getting off work early.  
Cowbi: is Sniper ok? lmao.  
Walmart: FREDDY IS SO SMALL  
Gottagofast: Why didnt you name him spot lmao  
CircusBoy: It was on the list.  
Cowbi: i stg i'm wheezing'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Every comment/kudos brings me a little further out of the void
> 
> My Tumblr: Albertdoesnteatglass


	17. :3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> My dog looks exactly like Sniper so yeah thats my inspiration

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Jack ~ Cowbi  
> Davey ~ Mom  
> Crutchie ~ Captain-Crutch  
> Buttons ~ Gay_And_Ok  
> Spot ~ BrooklynsHere  
> Kathrine ~ ImLesbian  
> Sarah ~ IThoughtYouWereAmerican  
> Mike ~ Mike  
> Ike ~ The_Cooler_Mike  
> Specs ~ Glasses  
> Race ~ GottaGoFast  
> Albert ~ RonaldMcdonald  
> Elmer ~ ElmersGlue  
> Finch ~ Pigeon  
> Romeo ~ WhereForArtThouBitch  
> JoJo ~ HoeHoe  
> Tommy Boy ~ Spinning Top  
> Sniper ~ Walmart  
> Bill ~ Dill  
> Darcy ~ Barcy  
> Mush ~ PANcake  
> Blink ~ KinkyBlinky  
> Smalls ~ TheSpoonMaster  
> Henry ~ NoHomo  
> Roger ~ Mothman  
> Coffee Bean ~ Caffinated-Potato  
> Barney Peanuts ~ CircusBoy  
> Hotshot ~ Hotpocket  
> Kenny ~ Kenny

Cowbi: oh my gosh y'all.  
Pidgeon: ???  
Gottagofast: "Yall"  
Cowbi: stfu this is serious.  
Elmersglue: What is it  
Cowbi: i went to see some family and they have a dog that looks exactly like Sniper i'm crying!!  
Walmart: pics or it didnt happen

\- Cowbi sent a picture [Sniperdog.png] -

Walmart: what the fuck  
Barcy: Oh my God you're right.  
IThoughtYouWereAmerican: whaaat the fuck.  
HoeHoe: That...That's scary.  
Mike: Still looks better than the real Sniper.  
Walmart: @Mom you really just gonna let mike cyberbully me  
Walmart: huh  
Gay_And_Ok: I'm sobbing.  
Ronaldmcdonald: that's almost as scary as ike's singing.  
The_cooler_mike: ok, first of all, rude.  
Walmart: lmao  
Kenny: Whoever bought coconut milk last weekend, you will suffer greatly.  
Mom: It's good!  
Kenny: >:(  
WhereForArtThouBitch: i'm having a party tomorrow night.  
WhereForArtThouBitch: i'm not letting kenny cater again.  
Kenny: Aw, why?  
Gay_And_Ok: Kenny, I love you (no homo), but a variety of milk is not party food.  
Kenny: Y'all just don't know how to party.  
Elmersglue: I liked the catering selections tbh.

Kenny > HoeHoe

Kenny: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH  
HoeHoe: Oh my gosh, calm down you funky superb boy.  
Kenny: What?  
HoeHoe: What?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Every comment/kudos brings me a little further out of the void
> 
> My Tumblr: Albertdoesnteatglass


	18. Crunchy no

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hey shoutout to @race-is-a-furbie on Tumblr, no reason, I just love them. <3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Jack ~ Cowbi  
> Davey ~ Mom  
> Crutchie ~ Captain-Crutch  
> Buttons ~ Gay_And_Ok  
> Spot ~ BrooklynsHere  
> Kathrine ~ ImLesbian  
> Sarah ~ IThoughtYouWereAmerican  
> Mike ~ Mike  
> Ike ~ The_Cooler_Mike  
> Specs ~ Glasses  
> Race ~ GottaGoFast  
> Albert ~ RonaldMcdonald  
> Elmer ~ ElmersGlue  
> Finch ~ Pigeon  
> Romeo ~ WhereForArtThouBitch  
> JoJo ~ HoeHoe  
> Tommy Boy ~ Spinning Top  
> Sniper ~ Walmart  
> Bill ~ Dill  
> Darcy ~ Barcy  
> Mush ~ PANcake  
> Blink ~ KinkyBlinky  
> Smalls ~ TheSpoonMaster  
> Henry ~ NoHomo  
> Roger ~ Mothman  
> Coffee Bean ~ Caffinated-Potato  
> Barney Peanuts ~ CircusBoy  
> Hotshot ~ Hotpocket  
> Kenny ~ Kenny

\- Gaysies Groupchat -

Captain-crutch: Fuck.  
Captain-crutch: Wait wrong server.  
Cowbi: C R U T C H I E  
Walmart: my little crutch wrap supreme is all grown up  
Mom: Crutchie! What the hell!  
Pidgeon: WHO TAUGHT HIM THAT WORD  
Gottagofast: Crutchie! Not in my house you dont  
Ronaldmcdonald: CRUTCHIEEEE  
BrooklynsHere: oh my god.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Every comment/kudos brings me a little further out of the void
> 
> My Tumblr: Albertdoesnteatglass


	19. I'm sorry.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I had a dream that me and my brother were in Newsies and in said dream Joshua Burrage had these awful shorts so yeah thats my inspiration

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Jack ~ Cowbi  
> Davey ~ Mom  
> Crutchie ~ Captain-Crutch  
> Buttons ~ Gay_And_Ok  
> Spot ~ BrooklynsHere  
> Kathrine ~ ImLesbian  
> Sarah ~ IThoughtYouWereAmerican  
> Mike ~ Mike  
> Ike ~ The_Cooler_Mike  
> Specs ~ Glasses  
> Race ~ GottaGoFast  
> Albert ~ RonaldMcdonald  
> Elmer ~ ElmersGlue  
> Finch ~ Pigeon  
> Romeo ~ WhereForArtThouBitch  
> JoJo ~ HoeHoe  
> Tommy Boy ~ Spinning Top  
> Sniper ~ Walmart  
> Bill ~ Dill  
> Darcy ~ Barcy  
> Mush ~ PANcake  
> Blink ~ KinkyBlinky  
> Smalls ~ TheSpoonMaster  
> Henry ~ NoHomo  
> Roger ~ Mothman  
> Coffee Bean ~ Caffinated-Potato  
> Barney Peanuts ~ CircusBoy  
> Hotshot ~ Hotpocket  
> Kenny ~ Kenny

Pigeon: GUYS HELP  
Spinning Top: what??  
Pigeon: So you know how JoJo is my roommate?  
Cowbi: yeah?  
Pigeon: This morning he just walks out of his room wearing these GOD-AWFUL _booty shorts_  
Walmart: i think i just peed a little  
Pigeon: And he refuses to take them off  
HoeHoe: They're comfy! And, they show off my l e g s.

\- Pigeon sent a photo [JoJono.png] -

Elmersglue: JoJo, making every straight man have a sexuality crisis since forever.  
Walmart: yall weird as fuck  
Gottagofast: Another "Y'all"  
Walmart: fuck off  
Pigeon: Guys hes trying to leave the house  
HoeHoe: LET ME AND MY LEGS BE FREE.  
Kenny: You need Jesus.  
Walmart: thats rich coming from you

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Every comment/kudos brings me a little further out of the void
> 
> My Tumblr: Albertdoesnteatglass


	20. Romeo's Party / Kenny's POV

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Uhhhh I'm gonna do a not-gc chapter? Bc I had some i d e a s. Sooo0....Yeah. It's gonna be Romeo's previously mentioned party.

Kenny knocked on the door of the house, and was greeted by Specs. "Hey Kenny!" Specs stepped aside "Hey Specs." The living room was set up with board games, a karaoke machine, and everything else you could imagine. 

All of his friends were sitting around chatting, and the only ones not there were Finch, JoJo, Smalls, and Elmer. Kenny sat on a couch beside Race, and watched the others in an intense Uno match. 

"You son of a bitch!"

"Draw four, motherfucker!"

"I thought we were friends! I thought you loved me!!"

"I SWEAR TO GOD I'M GONNA BURN THIS PLACE TO THE GROUND."

"Green..."

"UNO MOTHERFUCKING N E R D S"

After the round, (Sniper ended up winning.) there was a knock at the door. Hotshot opened it to reveal JoJo, Finch, Smalls, Elmer, and one disgruntled pizza delivery guy. Their friends came in and Romeo payed for the stack of pizzas.

"Alright, ew who ordered pineapple?" Romeo made a face and Mike raised his hand "Mike is now banned from ever ordering pizza again." Romeo handed him the box and sat the rest on the counter. Kenny got a piece and a soda and sat on the floor by Elmer and JoJo. "I'll never be able to look at Mike the same way again." JoJo shook his head and sighed "Me either."

They watched in amusement as Sniper proceeded to climb up the TV stand and eat on it 

"Get down!"

"Screw you Davey!"

After everyone was done eating Ike shouted "Lets play truth or dare!" Everyone nodded, except Roger who insisted on just watching. "I'll go first then. Sniper, truth or dare!?" Ike shouted, despite only being a few feet away from him. "Dare!" Sniper shouted back "I dare you to jump in the pool!" Everyone let out an 'ooo' except Davey, who looked like he was on the verge of a heart attack. 

A few dares later, Davey, Ike, Roger and Coffee Bean were doing karaoke while everyone else played spin the bottle. "Alright, uh, Katherine goes first!" Katherine spun the bottle and it landed on Jack "Why does God insist on making me suffer?" She complained, before leaning over and giving Jack a small peck on the lips, and proceeded to gag.

Jack landed on Specs, Specs landed on Ike, Ike landed on Albert, Albert landed on Sniper (and then Sniper threw up) and Sniper landed on Kenny ("Why does your breath taste like milk?""Why does yours taste like dick?""Touche.") Kenny spun the bottle and, oh god, it landed on Elmer. JoJo elbowed him and chuckled. Kenny turned beside him to Elmer, and gave him a small kiss. Kenny then proceeded to die inside.

The next morning everyone was hungover as fuck but that's just the way the yee haws ya know?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Every comment/kudos brings me a little further out of the void
> 
> My Tumblr: Albertdoesnteatglass


	21. Oh no

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Based off of something my friend Kyle said to my brother. So Kyle, if you're reading this, fuck off you little paperclip.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Jack ~ Cowbi  
> Davey ~ Mom  
> Crutchie ~ Captain-Crutch  
> Buttons ~ Gay_And_Ok  
> Spot ~ BrooklynsHere  
> Kathrine ~ ImLesbian  
> Sarah ~ IThoughtYouWereAmerican  
> Mike ~ Mike  
> Ike ~ The_Cooler_Mike  
> Specs ~ Glasses  
> Race ~ GottaGoFast  
> Albert ~ RonaldMcdonald  
> Elmer ~ ElmersGlue  
> Finch ~ Pigeon  
> Romeo ~ WhereForArtThouBitch  
> JoJo ~ HoeHoe  
> Tommy Boy ~ Spinning Top  
> Sniper ~ Walmart  
> Bill ~ Dill  
> Darcy ~ Barcy  
> Mush ~ PANcake  
> Blink ~ KinkyBlinky  
> Smalls ~ TheSpoonMaster  
> Henry ~ NoHomo  
> Roger ~ Mothman  
> Coffee Bean ~ Caffinated-Potato  
> Barney Peanuts ~ CircusBoy  
> Hotshot ~ Hotpocket  
> Kenny ~ Kenny

Captain-crutch: Guys!  
Cowbi: what is it you little muffin  
Captain-crutch: ?  
Captain-crutch: Anyways, I'm doing a theater class thing and I get to play Atticus Finch!  
Walmart: oh you get to play Daddicus FinBch  
Captain-crutch: W..what.....?  
Walmart yeah i had to watch that movie for school and  
Walmart: thats when i realized i was a homo  
The_cooler_mike: It's true, but you shouldn't say it.  
Gottagofast: All of you need to let our lord Jesus Christ into your hearts  
Gottagofast: And thats coming from me  
Mike: What? What twin? I don't have a twin. At least not anymore.  
The_cooler_mike: [:tongue_sticking_out: emoji]  
HoeHoe: I'm leaving.  
Walmart: k bye  
Walmart: we wont miss you  
Mike: I will?  
Walmart: only you

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Every comment/kudos brings me a little further out of the void
> 
> My Tumblr: Albertdoesnteatglass


	22. :D

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I do what I want stfu

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Jack ~ Cowbi  
> Davey ~ Mom  
> Crutchie ~ Captain-Crutch  
> Buttons ~ Gay_And_Ok  
> Spot ~ BrooklynsHere  
> Kathrine ~ ImLesbian  
> Sarah ~ IThoughtYouWereAmerican  
> Mike ~ Mike  
> Ike ~ The_Cooler_Mike  
> Specs ~ Glasses  
> Race ~ GottaGoFast  
> Albert ~ RonaldMcdonald  
> Elmer ~ ElmersGlue  
> Finch ~ Pigeon  
> Romeo ~ WhereForArtThouBitch  
> JoJo ~ HoeHoe  
> Tommy Boy ~ Spinning Top  
> Sniper ~ Walmart  
> Bill ~ Dill  
> Darcy ~ Barcy  
> Mush ~ PANcake  
> Blink ~ KinkyBlinky  
> Smalls ~ TheSpoonMaster  
> Henry ~ NoHomo  
> Roger ~ Mothman  
> Coffee Bean ~ Caffeine  
> Barney Peanuts ~ CircusBoy  
> Hotshot ~ Hotpocket  
> Kenny ~ Kenny  
> Oscar ~ Smaller_Delancey  
> Morris ~ Taller_Delancey

Walmart: ok so  
Walmart: i hate the delanceys as much as the next guy  
Walmart: but hear me out  
Walmart: morris pretty thicc ngl  
Cowbi: oh my god.  
Glasses: Get out omfg.  
Captain-crutch: Oh my god.  
CircusBoy: I mean......  
Caffeine: I'm disowning u.  
Caffeine: Begone THOTS  
Gottagofast: I'm adding them just so they'll hear u thirstin'

\- Gottagofast added Smaller_Delancey and Taller_Delancey -

Walmart: thicc boyes  
Smaller_Delancey: what the fuck did you justs ay???  
Taller_Delancey: Oh my God.  
Mom: Please spare him he's a child.  
Walmart: [:tongue_sticking_out: emoji]  
Taller_Delancey: Why must God punish our sins by trapping us with such imbecils.  
Smaller_Delancey: bicth

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Every comment/kudos brings me a little further out of the void
> 
> My Tumblr: Albertdoesnteatglass


	23. Jack's a good dad-friend

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I'm sick, so behold.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Jack ~ Cowbi  
> Davey ~ Mom  
> Crutchie ~ Captain-Crutch  
> Buttons ~ Gay_And_Ok  
> Spot ~ BrooklynsHere  
> Kathrine ~ ImLesbian  
> Sarah ~ IThoughtYouWereAmerican  
> Mike ~ Mike  
> Ike ~ The_Cooler_Mike  
> Specs ~ Glasses  
> Race ~ GottaGoFast  
> Albert ~ RonaldMcdonald  
> Elmer ~ ElmersGlue  
> Finch ~ Pigeon  
> Romeo ~ WhereForArtThouBitch  
> JoJo ~ HoeHoe  
> Tommy Boy ~ Spinning Top  
> Sniper ~ Walmart  
> Bill ~ Dill  
> Darcy ~ Barcy  
> Mush ~ PANcake  
> Blink ~ KinkyBlinky  
> Smalls ~ TheSpoonMaster  
> Henry ~ NoHomo  
> Roger ~ Mothman  
> Coffee Bean ~ Caffinated-Potato  
> Barney Peanuts ~ CircusBoy  
> Hotshot ~ Hotpocket  
> Kenny ~ Kenny

12:46 PM  
Hotpocket: I'm gonna mcfreakin kms  
TheSpoonMaster: y  
Hotpocket: I'm sickkk  
Kenny: Was it bc the expired milk?  
Hotpocket: NO  
Hotpocket: I just got a cold  
Mothman: He's wrapped up in blankets lookin' like an angry lil burrito 

\- Roger sent a photo [poorhotshot.png]

The picture is Hotshot, wrapped up in multiple blankets, glaring at the camera.

Mothman: Fuckin cutie.  
Pigeon: Oh my god guys Roger just swore  
Mothman: Frick* my bad.  
BrooklynsHere: Hotshot is a bad influence and is no longer allowed around Roger  
Hotpocket: I'm DYING over here and you're just accusing me of being a bad influence instead of comforting me smh.  
Cowbi: do you need me to be the comforting father?  
Hotpocket: You know what, yeah. I do.  
Cowbi: kk i'll be over in 10 with some of Medda's s o u p.  
Hotpocket: Oh hell yeah I love her s o u p.  
Cowbi: I'm also bringing The Lion King, some medicine, and some raspberry tea. (don't tell Davey i'm stealing his tea)  
Hotpocket: You are a blessing to this earth

12:55 PM

\- Cowbi sent a photo [Yeehaw.png] -

The picture is Hotshot with some soup, watching the TV with a plush Jack picked up from CVS.

Mothman: Now, instead of an angry lil burrito, he's a happy lil burrito. :D  
Cowbi: dad mission = accomplished

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Every comment/kudos brings me a little further out of the void
> 
> My Tumblr:  
> Albertdoesnteatglass


	24. Bonnie & Clyde

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I just finished the bootleg for Bonnie & Clyde so here we are now

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Jack ~ Cowbi  
> Davey ~ Mom  
> Crutchie ~ Captain-Crutch  
> Buttons ~ Gay_And_Ok  
> Spot ~ BrooklynsHere  
> Kathrine ~ ImLesbian  
> Sarah ~ IThoughtYouWereAmerican  
> Mike ~ Mike  
> Ike ~ The_Cooler_Mike  
> Specs ~ Glasses  
> Race ~ GottaGoFast  
> Albert ~ RonaldMcdonald  
> Elmer ~ ElmersGlue  
> Finch ~ Pigeon  
> Romeo ~ WhereForArtThouBitch  
> JoJo ~ HoeHoe  
> Tommy Boy ~ Spinning Top  
> Sniper ~ Walmart  
> Bill ~ Dill  
> Darcy ~ Barcy  
> Mush ~ PANcake  
> Blink ~ KinkyBlinky  
> Smalls ~ TheSpoonMaster  
> Henry ~ NoHomo  
> Roger ~ Mothman  
> Coffee Bean ~ Caffinated-Potato  
> Barney Peanuts ~ CircusBoy  
> Hotshot ~ Hotpocket  
> Kenny ~ Kenny

Gottagofast: Guyssss  
Mike: Whatttt  
Gottagofast: Me and Albert just finished the Bonnie & Clyde bootleg so we've decided to become a modern day version  
ImLesbian: Why???  
Gottagofast: Its cool  
Mom: Being a criminal is _not_ cool.  
Gottagofast: Youre first on my list  
Gottagofast: SO ANYWAYS   
Gottagofast: What do you guys think about our plan  
BrooklynsHere: So ur just gonna ABANDON me  
BrooklynsHere: Wow ok  
Ronaldmcdonald: we've picked jack to be Buck  
Ronaldmcdonald: bc him and whats-her-face wanted to go to new mexico  
Cowbi: nice.  
Mom: Not!!! Nice!!!  
Mike: Wait, who's Bonnie and who's Clyde  
Gottagofast: Albert is Bonnie, bc when he was little he wanted to be famous (& he looks killer in a dress) and when I was little I stole something from a 711  
IThoughtYouWereAmerican: you fucking criminal.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Every comment/kudos brings me a little further out of the void
> 
> My Tumblr: Albertdoesnteatglass


	25. Elmer ain't the brightest lemme tell you that

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Elmer's in trouble

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Davey ~ Mom  
> Crutchie ~ Captain-Crutch  
> Buttons ~ Gay_And_Ok  
> Spot ~ BrooklynsHere  
> Kathrine ~ ImLesbian  
> Sarah ~ IThoughtYouWereAmerican  
> Mike ~ Mike  
> Ike ~ The_Cooler_Mike  
> Specs ~ Glasses  
> Race ~ GottaGoFast  
> Albert ~ RonaldMcdonald  
> Elmer ~ ElmersGlue  
> Finch ~ Pigeon  
> Romeo ~ WhereForArtThouBitch  
> JoJo ~ HoeHoe  
> Tommy Boy ~ Spinning Top  
> Sniper ~ Walmart  
> Bill ~ Dill  
> Darcy ~ Barcy  
> Mush ~ PANcake  
> Blink ~ KinkyBlinky  
> Smalls ~ UwU-er  
> Henry ~ NoHomo  
> Roger ~ Mothman  
> Coffee Bean ~ Caffinated-Potato  
> Barney Peanuts ~ CircusBoy  
> Hotshot ~ Hotpocket  
> Kenny ~ Kenny  
> Oscar ~ Smaller_Delancey  
> Morris ~ Taller_Delancey

Elmersglue: Guys I'm in trouble  
Hotpocket: What's wrong?

\- Elmersglue sent a photo [yikes.png] -

The picture is at an odd angle, and it's of Elmer's arm stuck in a vending machine slot.

Cowbi: oh my god!! i'm yeehawing  
Ronaldmcdonald: i just spat out my caprisun  
Walmart: i am cackling rn  
Smaller_Delancey: you fnucking idoit   
UwU-er: D E A D  
The_cooler_mike: jesus christ  
Mike: Wah  
Mom: How did that even happen??  
Elmersglue: _Well_  
Elmersglue: My poptarts got stuck  
HoeHoe: Understandable.

Gottagofast > Kenny

Gottagofast: Bitch  
Gottagofast: Go save your soon-to-be-mans  
Kenny: Fuck off, Blease.

Gaysies gc

Elmersglue: I'm getting weird looks  
Elmersglue: Imagine walking by some kid with his arm stuck in the vending machine slot wearing Sonic The Hedgehog socks and sandals  
Cowbi: *steers Race away from you* this, Racer, is why drugs are bad. stay in school.  
Mike: What are you talking about? if anyone here is on drugs it's Race.  
Cowbi: hmmmmm true  
Elmersglue: Is anyone gonna come help me >:(  
Kenny: I will :)  
Elmersglue: Oh thank God  
Elmersglue: Have I ever told you how much I love you  
Elmersglue: Lmao

Kenny > Gottagofast

Kenny: :)  
Kenny: :')  
Kenny: :'''''')  
Gottagofast: Yikes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Every comment/kudos brings me a little further out of the void
> 
> My Tumblr: Albertdoesnteatglass


	26. Sad boi hours

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Why? Why must you do this Albert? Well, the answer is, fuck you.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Jack ~ Cowbi  
> Davey ~ Mom  
> Crutchie ~ Captain-Crutch  
> Buttons ~ Gay_And_Ok  
> Spot ~ BrooklynsHere  
> Kathrine ~ ImLesbian  
> Sarah ~ IThoughtYouWereAmerican  
> Mike ~ Mike  
> Ike ~ The_Cooler_Mike  
> Specs ~ Glasses  
> Race ~ GottaGoFast  
> Albert ~ RonaldMcdonald  
> Elmer ~ ElmersGlue  
> Finch ~ Pigeon  
> Romeo ~ WhereForArtThouBitch  
> JoJo ~ HoeHoe  
> Tommy Boy ~ ThomasMan  
> Sniper ~ Walmart  
> Bill ~ Dill  
> Darcy ~ Barcy  
> Mush ~ PANcake  
> Blink ~ KinkyBlinky  
> Smalls ~ UwU-er  
> Henry ~ NoHomo  
> Roger ~ Mothman  
> Coffee Bean ~ Caffinated-Potato  
> Barney Peanuts ~ CircusBoy  
> Hotshot ~ Hotpocket  
> Kenny ~ Kenny  
> Oscar ~ Smaller_Delancey  
> Morris ~ Taller_Delancey

The_cooler_mike: hey guys its  
The_cooler_mike: Sad Boi Hours(tm)  
ImLesbian: @Mike What is your brother doing?  
Mike: Writing a fanfic  
The_cooler_mike: You mean t h r i v i n g

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Every comment/kudos brings me a little further out of the void
> 
> My Tumblr: Albertdoesnteatglass


	27. Kenny's in loove

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I'm expanding on the lil KennyxElmer thing I got goin on, just to spite my brother who doesn't like it. So Andy, I know you're reading this, fuck youu :)
> 
> Also take some nice platonic JoJo & Kenny bc I love them sm

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Jack ~ Cowbi  
> Davey ~ Mom  
> Crutchie ~ Captain-Crutch  
> Buttons ~ Gay_And_Ok  
> Spot ~ BrooklynsHere  
> Kathrine ~ ImLesbian  
> Sarah ~ IThoughtYouWereAmerican  
> Mike ~ Mike  
> Ike ~ The_Cooler_Mike  
> Specs ~ Glasses  
> Race ~ GottaGoFast  
> Albert ~ RonaldMcdonald  
> Elmer ~ ElmersGlue  
> Finch ~ Pigeon  
> Romeo ~ WhereForArtThouBitch  
> JoJo ~ HoeHoe  
> Tommy Boy ~ ThomasMan  
> Sniper ~ Walmart  
> Bill ~ Dill  
> Darcy ~ Barcy  
> Mush ~ PANcake  
> Blink ~ KinkyBlinky  
> Smalls ~ UwU-er  
> Henry ~ NoHomo  
> Roger ~ Mothman  
> Coffee Bean ~ Caffinated-Potato  
> Barney Peanuts ~ CircusBoy  
> Hotshot ~ Hotpocket  
> Kenny ~ Kenny  
> Oscar ~ Smaller_Delancey  
> Morris ~ Taller_Delancey

HoeHoe > Kenny

Hoehoe: Soooo?  
Kenny: What?  
HoeHoe: How'd your date with.... You know who go?  
Kenny: First of all, twas not a date, I helped him get his arm out of a vending machine,  
Kenny: And second of all, afterwards we got Waffle House and he was being so fucking cute??? Like, how???  
HoeHoe: Yikes, you got it bad.  
Kenny: I WISH it was a date. He's just so perfect?? Like, how did you get Mike to like you?  
HoeHoe: Simple, he accidentally hit me with his car while picking me up from the library, then he got me icecream after to make up for it, and BAM we were dating.  
Kenny: Hold the fucking phone, HE HIT YOU WITH HIS CAR??  
HoeHoe: Yeah.  
Kenny: God, I wish Elmer would hit me with his car.  
Kenny: OHMYGOD.  
HoeHoe: What???  
Kenny: He just sent me a picture of him and his dog I'm gonna cry  
HoeHoe: SHOW! NOW!

\- Kenny sent a photo [Fuckincutie.png] -

The picture is Elmer holding a small dog, and a slightly blurry Smalls falling off of the table in the background.

HoeHoe: Oh my God. Also is Smalls okay?? Lmao  
Kenny: Idk and Idc.  
HoeHoe: Alright, now tell me about your undying love for our dear Elmo.  
HoeHoe: Elmer*  
Kenny: Lmao  
Kenny: OK SO He's just so perfect? Like, his hair is so fluffy, and his eyes are so pretty, and he has these fuckin adorable freckles? And he's so sweet, and GOD everything he does is just so adorable!! Whenever I talk to him my insides feel all mushy, and just?? I got it bad doc.  
HoeHoe: I diagnose you with dead.  
Kenny: Gee thanks.  
HoeHoe: But seriously, talk to him! Invite him out somewhere! He's off work this friday, so go somewhere with him! Like Waffle House again! Everyone loves Waffle House!  
Kenny: Ok, ok. Thanks for listening to me, I'll try and invite him out soon. <3  
HoeHoe: Go get em tiger! <3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please leave suggestions for chapters I'm running out of ideas
> 
> (Except you, Andy. Bitch.)
> 
> Every comment/kudos brings me a little further out of the void
> 
> My Tumblr: Albertdoesnteatglass


	28. Myron and Bart!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> If you don't know who Myron and Bart are, they are two of the brooklyn newsies. Myron is the bandana boy, and Bart is the one played by Andrew Wilson. I love them. And shoutout to Towers in the Cryptid Crew for helping my figure out Bart's username :)
> 
> Follow Towers if you aren't following him already!:  
> https://race-is-a-furbie.tumblr.com/

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Jack ~ Cowbi  
> Davey ~ Mom  
> Crutchie ~ Captain-Crutch  
> Buttons ~ Gay_And_Ok  
> Spot ~ BrooklynsHere  
> Kathrine ~ ImLesbian  
> Sarah ~ IThoughtYouWereAmerican  
> Mike ~ Mike  
> Ike ~ The_Cooler_Mike  
> Specs ~ Glasses  
> Race ~ GottaGoFast  
> Albert ~ RonaldMcdonald  
> Elmer ~ ElmersGlue  
> Finch ~ Pigeon  
> Romeo ~ WhereForArtThouBitch  
> JoJo ~ HoeHoe  
> Tommy Boy ~ ThomasMan  
> Sniper ~ Walmart  
> Bill ~ Dill  
> Darcy ~ Barcy  
> Mush ~ PANcake  
> Blink ~ KinkyBlinky  
> Smalls ~ UwU-er  
> Henry ~ NoHomo  
> Roger ~ Mothman  
> Coffee Bean ~ Caffinated-Potato  
> Barney Peanuts ~ CircusBoy  
> Hotshot ~ Hotpocket  
> Kenny ~ Kenny  
> Oscar ~ Smaller_Delancey  
> Morris ~ Taller_Delancey  
> Myron ~ BandanaSplit  
> Bart ~ Bort

Hotpocket: I'm adding me, Roger, and Spot's roommates and y'all don't have a say in this.  
Cowbi: OH so _he_ can say y'all, but i can't??

\- Hotshot added BandanaSplit, Bort to Gaysies -

Hotshot: Alright you stinky fuckers, meet Myron and Bart.  
ImLesbian: Hello!  
GottaGoFast: Hey nerds  
BandanaSplit: Hey.  
Bort: Hi :)  
Mothman: Oh! You guys are here.  
BandanaSplit: Hey Roger.  
BrooklynsHere: Race be nice to the boys  
GottaGoFast: Fuck you  
RonaldMcDonald: r a c e be nice to the b o y s  
GottaGoFast: Fine, fuck you  
Mom: Or?? Everyone could be nice to everyone.  
GottaGoFast: Shut up, ur not even my real mother  
Mom: oH

\- Bort sent a photo [:).png] -

The picture is of Spot on his phone, just,,sitting on the kitchen table

Bort: What is the boy doing help  
GottaGoFast: thriving

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just decided I'd put Myron & Bart's sexualities and stuff here:  
> Myron: Trans male, Homoromantic, Asexual  
> Bart: Cis male, Bisexual
> 
> Leave suggestions for chapters!!
> 
> Every comment/kudos brings me a little further out of the void
> 
> My Tumblr: Albertdoesnteatglass


	29. Anything is edible if you try hard enough

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Beginning is based on true events from the Cryptid Crew. Would not suggest biting a cactus like Romeo.  
> Please be careful with what non food items you consume.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Jack ~ Cowbi  
> Davey ~ Mom  
> Crutchie ~ Captain-Crutch  
> Buttons ~ Gay_And_Ok  
> Spot ~ BrooklynsHere  
> Kathrine ~ ImLesbian  
> Sarah ~ IThoughtYouWereAmerican  
> Mike ~ Mike  
> Ike ~ The_Cooler_Mike  
> Specs ~ Glasses  
> Race ~ GottaGoFast  
> Albert ~ RonaldMcdonald  
> Elmer ~ ElmersGlue  
> Finch ~ Pigeon  
> Romeo ~ WhereForArtThouBitch  
> JoJo ~ HoeHoe  
> Tommy Boy ~ ThomasMan  
> Sniper ~ Walmart  
> Bill ~ Dill  
> Darcy ~ Barcy  
> Mush ~ PANcake  
> Blink ~ KinkyBlinky  
> Smalls ~ UwU-er  
> Henry ~ NoHomo  
> Roger ~ Mothman  
> Coffee Bean ~ Caffinated-Potato  
> Barney Peanuts ~ CircusBoy  
> Hotshot ~ Hotpocket  
> Kenny ~ Kenny  
> Oscar ~ Smaller_Delancey  
> Morris ~ Taller_Delancey  
> Myron ~ BandanaSplit  
> Bart ~ Bort

WhereForArtThouBitch: I'm gonna eat a cactus  
Mom: Don't???  
WhereForArtThouBitch: I'll just lick it  
ImLesbian: Don't!?!?!  
RonaldMcDonald: Do it  
Hotpocket: Don't encourage him!!!  
WhereForArtThouBitch: I bit it  
WhereForArtThouBitch:I don't have time to actually eat it tho  
RonaldMcDonald: I'm gonna eat a napkin  
RonaldMcDonald: You should too  
Hotpocket: Don't??  
GottaGoFast: Blease don't  
WhereForArtThouBitch: I ate a napkin  
WhereForArtThouBitch: Thank you for opening my eyes  
RonaldMcDonald: I love opening the minds of the people  
Mom: I'm having an actual heart attack??  
RonaldMcDonald: I ate a paper towel  
Hotpocket: w h y  
RonaldMcDonald: I like the texture  
BrooklynsHere: At least he stopped eating glass  
RonaldMcDonald: IT WAS ONE TIME  
Dill: I ate Darcy's pet fish once  
GottaGoFast: Nice  
UwU-er: I ate a coaster once  
Cowbi: i drank paint water  
GottaGoFast: I'm gay  
BandanaSplit: Are you guys alright  
UwU-er: no

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Leave suggestions for chapters!!
> 
> Every comment/kudos brings me a little further out of the void
> 
> My Tumblr: Albertdoesnteatglass


	30. Date??? (Kenny's POV)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kenny finally invites Elmer on a date!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took so long lmao
> 
> I've decided every ten or so chapters will be a non-texting one! Enjoy!

Kenny anxiously bounced his leg. He was waiting for Elmer to pick him up, and he glanced at the texts on his phone.

 

_  
Kenny: Hey,, sorry to bother you, but would you wanna go somewhere sometime? Like a date??_

 

_Elmersglue: Oh! Sure! I'd love to :0  
_

 

His head snapped up as he heard a car pull up, and he glanced out the window to see Elmer's car pulling up. He grabbed his bag and ran outside, climbing in the passenger side.   
"Hey Kenny!" Elmer smiled at him- Oh fuck why did he have to be so cute? "Hey El." He smiled back, as the car pulled out of the driveway. 

Now you see, Kenny wasn't sure he could handle this much Elmer.

Once they'd arrived at Waffle House and gotten their food, they began talking.  
"So, what do you want to do today?" Kenny asked, shoveling hashbrowns into his mouth.  
Elmer shrugged "We could go to the park?"  
Kenny smiled and nodded. _'Oh my god why is he so adorable? I'm gonna cry!'_

After they had eaten and payed, they walked to the car, Elmer opening the car door for him. "Oh, what a gentleman." Kenny joked. He pulled out his phone.

_  
Operation Kenmer gc_

_Kenny: So good so far. He got chocolate chip waffles, he's a keeper._

_Gottagofast: Nice._

_HoeHoe: You got this! Where to next?_

_Kenny: The park._

_HoeHoe: I'm ready_

_\- HoeHoe sent an image [spyoutfit.png] -_

_The photo is JoJo with sunglasses, a floppy hat, and a dress on. He also has a stroller with a pug wearing baby clothes in it, and Race is matching, except he has a wig on._

_Kenny: Just text me advice alright. And who does that dog belong to?!?_

_Gottagofast: It's my aunts dog._

After a few minutes, they pulled up to the park and Kenny spotted JoJo and Race on a bench. He and Elmer walked to the swings, sitting down and swinging. After a few minutes of chatting, (about dogs, milk and if giraffes are just a lie by the government) Elmer stops. 

"Uh Kenny?" Elmer fights back laughter.  
"Yes?"  
"Is that Race and JoJo in dresses? Are they spying on us?!?" Elmer waves to them, and Race defeatedly takes off his wig and walks over with the stroller and JoJo close behind.

"Hey, Elmer." Race sighed. JoJo walked up and awkwardly waved at them.   
"Mind telling me why you guys were spying on our date?" Elmer questioned, looking at their outfits and the dog. "And who is that dog? I love her."

Race picked up the dog, holding it on his hip like a baby. "This is Prune, she's my aunt's dog." Elmer pet the dog, before pulling aside Kenny.

"Ken, did you know about this?" Kenny sighed.

"YesIdidn'twanttomessthisupbecauseIlikeyoualotandwasscaredofruiningthingssotheyweretextingmeand-" Kenny anxiously rambled, and Elmer cut him off by connecting their lips.

"Kenny, it's ok. You couldn't ruin things if you tried. Plus, now we have a crazy first date story. And I like you too." He smiled, and Kenny hesitantly reached for his hand, Elmer taking it and squeezing it lightly, before kissing him again.

A whoop and wolf whistle was heard, definitely JoJo and Race. Kenny pulled back from the kiss and flipped them off, before going back to the kiss.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Leave suggestions for chapters!!
> 
> Every comment/kudos brings me a little further out of the void
> 
> Please talk to me I'm lonely. Legit just DM me "garlic" and I'll say "bread" and bing bang boom we're BFFS
> 
> My Tumblr: Albertdoesnteatglass


	31. uwu?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> : )

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Jack ~ Cowbi  
> Davey ~ Mom  
> Crutchie ~ Captain-Crutch  
> Buttons ~ Gay_And_Ok  
> Spot ~ BrooklynsHere  
> Kathrine ~ ImLesbian  
> Sarah ~ IThoughtYouWereAmerican  
> Mike ~ Mike  
> Ike ~ The_Cooler_Mike  
> Specs ~ Glasses  
> Race ~ GottaGoFast  
> Albert ~ RonaldMcdonald  
> Elmer ~ ElmersGlue  
> Finch ~ Pigeon  
> Romeo ~ WhereForArtThouBitch  
> JoJo ~ HoeHoe  
> Tommy Boy ~ ThomasMan  
> Sniper ~ Walmart  
> Bill ~ Dill  
> Darcy ~ Barcy  
> Mush ~ PANcake  
> Blink ~ KinkyBlinky  
> Smalls ~ UwU-er  
> Henry ~ NoHomo  
> Roger ~ Mothman  
> Coffee Bean ~ Caffinated-Potato  
> Barney Peanuts ~ CircusBoy  
> Hotshot ~ Hotpocket  
> Kenny ~ Kenny  
> Oscar ~ Smaller_Delancey  
> Morris ~ Taller_Delancey  
> Myron ~ BandanaSplit  
> Bart ~ Bort

\- Operation Kenmer gc -

HoeHoe: Sooo???  
Kenny: What?  
HoeHoe: How'd the rest of the date go??  
Gottagofast: SPILL THE TEA

\- Kenny sent a video -

_The video is Kenny, and in the video he drinks from a milk carton before throwing it across the room, "HERES" He taps the screen "THE MOTHERFUCKING" he taps it again "TEA."_

Kenny: After we left the park we went back to his place and cuddled and watched all the Spiderman movies we could find.   
Gottagofast: Nerddds  
Kenny: Hush, child.  
HoeHoe: Cute!!

\- Kenny sent an image [uwu.png] - 

_The photo is Kenny and Elmer, Elmer doing Kenny's makeup._

Kenny: We did this too.  
Gottagofast: Gayy  
Kenny: No u  
Gottagofast: >:(  
HoeHoe: Boys, Boys.....We're all gay.  
Gottagofast: :0  
Kenny: :0

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Leave suggestions for chapters!!
> 
> Every comment/kudos brings me a little further out of the void
> 
> My Tumblr: Albertdoesnteatglass


	32. Splasher! And Skittery!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> My favorite boy and my favorite goblin boy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Jack ~ Cowbi  
> Davey ~ Mom  
> Crutchie ~ Captain-Crutch  
> Buttons ~ Gay_And_Ok  
> Spot ~ BrooklynsHere  
> Kathrine ~ ImLesbian  
> Sarah ~ IThoughtYouWereAmerican  
> Mike ~ Mike  
> Ike ~ The_Cooler_Mike  
> Specs ~ Glasses  
> Race ~ GottaGoFast  
> Albert ~ RonaldMcdonald  
> Elmer ~ ElmersGlue  
> Finch ~ Pigeon  
> Romeo ~ WhereForArtThouBitch  
> JoJo ~ HoeHoe  
> Tommy Boy ~ ThomasMan  
> Sniper ~ Walmart  
> Bill ~ Dill  
> Darcy ~ Barcy  
> Mush ~ PANcake  
> Blink ~ KinkyBlinky  
> Smalls ~ UwU-er  
> Henry ~ NoHomo  
> Roger ~ Mothman  
> Coffee Bean ~ Caffinated-Potato  
> Barney Peanuts ~ CircusBoy  
> Hotshot ~ Hotpocket  
> Kenny ~ Kenny  
> Oscar ~ Smaller_Delancey  
> Morris ~ Taller_Delancey  
> Myron ~ BandanaSplit  
> Bart ~ Bort  
> Splasher ~ SplishSplash  
> Skittery ~ Skittles

ImLesbian: Hey can I add someone else?   
Gottagofast: Do I look like I care  
ImLesbian: Okay then.

\- ImLesbian added Skittles to Gaysies -

Skittles: Kath why  
Skittles: I'm only staying if I can add in my emotional support dumb bitch.  
ImLesbian: Go for it Skit

\- Skittles added SplishSplash to Gaysies -

SplishSplash: Hey Skitts, Skitty, Skibbery, Skit. My dude. Where the fuck am I  
Skittles: Hell  
SplishSplash: This doesn't look like a fabric store  
Cowbi: Akssksksksk Howdy  
SplishSplash: Hi  
SplishSplash: I'm Splasher and apparently, I am Skittery's emotional support dumb bitch  
Skittles: It's trueee  
ImLesbian: He has a cat  
BandanaSplit: Show me the baby!

\- Skittles sent an image [Stinkybaby.png] -

_The photo is a black and white cat, with a pink bowtie._

Skittles: His name is Seymour and I hate him  
Glasses: Oh a child  
ThomasMan: An actual baby child  
Walmart: i dont trust him  
SplishSplash: Good.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Leave suggestions for chapters!! Also, are there any other Newsies I should add? (I probably won't do many more 92 newsies)
> 
> Every comment/kudos brings me a little further out of the void
> 
> My Tumblr: Albertdoesnteatglass


	33. Sleep deprived and dumb as fuck

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> thanky @I-Guarantee on wumblr tumblr for helping me out bc I was l a c k i n g ideas
> 
> also Oscar has a lisp I do not take constructive criticism

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Jack ~ Cowbi  
> Davey ~ Mom  
> Crutchie ~ Captain-Crutch  
> Buttons ~ Gay_And_Ok  
> Spot ~ BrooklynsHere  
> Kathrine ~ ImLesbian  
> Sarah ~ IThoughtYouWereAmerican  
> Mike ~ Mike  
> Ike ~ The_Cooler_Mike  
> Specs ~ Glasses  
> Race ~ GottaGoFast  
> Albert ~ RonaldMcdonald  
> Elmer ~ ElmersGlue  
> Finch ~ Pigeon  
> Romeo ~ WhereForArtThouBitch  
> JoJo ~ HoeHoe  
> Tommy Boy ~ ThomasMan  
> Sniper ~ Walmart  
> Bill ~ Dill  
> Darcy ~ Barcy  
> Mush ~ PANcake  
> Blink ~ KinkyBlinky  
> Smalls ~ TheSpoonMaster  
> Henry ~ NoHomo  
> Roger ~ Mothman  
> Coffee Bean ~ Caffeine  
> Barney Peanuts ~ CircusBoy  
> Hotshot ~ Hotpocket  
> Kenny ~ Kenny  
> Oscar ~ Smaller_Delancey  
> Morris ~ Taller_Delancey

GottaGoFast: You guys know what time it is B)  
ThomasMan: no we really don't  
RonaldMcDonald: It's P A R T Y T I M E  
ElmersGlue: HELL YEAH  
Mom: Guys...It's 2AM you're gonna wake people up with the notifications   
GottaGoFast: Pfft, and that matters why?  
Smaller_Delancey: will y'al shut tge fuck up?  
ElmersGlue: Boo you stink go back to sleep  
Smaller_Delancey: i cant' fuckin sleep because you dumvbasses are keeping me awake  
ThomasMan: y can't you just mute it tho  
Smaller_Delancey: incase i miss somethifn important   
RonaldMcdonald: why can't you spell no tea no shade but??  
Smaller_Delancey: bad eiesigh  
RonaldMcdonald: why don't you get glasses bruh  
Smaller_Delancey: i think a lisp is enough to drop kick the cool factpr abotu this bitch, glasses are for rnerds  
ThomasMan: rip bro  
Smaller_Delancey: can i sleep nbow  
Mom: Go Sleepy Time Now

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> How I do the Genuine Oscar Not Being Able To Spell? just type super fast don't look back  
> Just realized I haven't updated in like a month w h o o p s
> 
> Every comment/kudos brings me a little further out of the void
> 
> My Tumblr: Albertdoesnteatglass


End file.
